I Hate This Part Right Here...

salam guyz...apa khabar sumer..?Zul harap sumer readers sehat2 belaka yer..huhu..Zul sendiri pown sehat alhamdulillah..cuma ade sedikit ralat y mengganggu fikiran Zul lately..

hurm, Zul sendri pown xtaw camner nk citer ngn readers sumer...sbb Zul rasa mende ni berlaku atas salah Zul sendri..Zul y xtetap pendirian kot...hurm...mungkin sebab Zul rasa kesilapan lalu dpt dibaiki, atau peluang y dulu datang menjenguk lg..hurm, tp Zul cuba kembali berpijak dibumi nyata..and i really need a reality check..huhu..or a slap..hahaha

sejak 2 menjak neyh, ade perasaan lama dtg menjenguk pintu hidup Zul. perasaan y cuba Zul buang jauh dulu..perasaan y cuba Zul tukar supaya ia xlg berlegar di minda Zul..tp, tiba2, perasaan itu dtg kembali, dengan nafas y baru...dan janji y baru..hingga kekadang membuat Zul percaya pada keindahan perasaan itu. hingga kekadang Zul membina angan sendiri dlm halusinasi itu..

Zul cuba jd rasional dlm membuat keputusan, mengatur bicara and menghayun langkah..coz i dun want previous thing happen again for the second time..it's not that i hate that feeling, i'm protecting myself from being hurt again...i'm protecting my heart from being fool by the same person...i really tried, i swear...but i dunno how, and why..maybe coz i still, deep in my heart believe in that feeling, believe that that feeling could be true,could come true..coz it's so surreal..this is the part where i hate myself and my judgements..

and then, once again that feeling shattered like glass fall on the ground..broke into tiny, litlle pieces..juz like me...when things where clearify from heart to heart it hurts (i guess), once again,..like a lightning, stroke on my head, i woke from the dream, the dream that i created, with wet eyes..blaming myself again, why the hell i let myself to be hurt again...why did my heart lead me to this path again...it is so confusing....i'm confuse...

i guess i gonna need a break again..there are too many things stuck up in my head rite now, that make me hard to make a good rasional decisions..that make me hard to be myself...urrghh...i hate this part rite here...